Once KG and I parted ways (after desperately searching for a place to get a mothereffin slice of pizza) I went to my local pizzeria in Brooklyn. I wasn't boutsta to go home on an empty stomach and three vodka sodas (p.s. we were at the speed dating bar for 1 hour).
I ordered a slice. Enter attractive guy in a suit.
Him: Did you order yet?
Me: Yes.
Him: (Sigh). I'm tired.
Me: Long day?
Him: Yes. Very.
Me: I know what you mean. I just got back from speed dating. One guy told me he was from Pluto.
All of this led to a conversation outside of the pizza place where he told me I was really beautiful (ok, you got my attention). He asked for my name, number, and email (ok, pretty aggressive. Also, I had scarfed down my entire slice by this point). He then asked if I wanted to hang out THAT night (ok, very aggressive). I made up a lie and said I had plans with a friend (Netflix). He told me he would text me later that night (ok, creepy and desperate).
Subsequent texts received:
-an hour after I gave him my number: "hi :)"(Forrealz?? I told him to text me later in the week to meet up)
-the next day (Tues): "how are you?" (No response)
-the next day (Wed): "Hey...wanna go out for a drink?" (God he sucks so hard. I lied and told him I just got out of a long-term relationship and wasn't ready for the whole dating thing. I thought this would send a clear message to back the eff off).
His response: "Then let's not call it a date, let's just have a glass of whine (his error, not mine) and enjoy the great weather :)" (I told him no. If the creep factor wasn't a dealbreaker, the misspelling def was.)
-Friday: "How r you?" (No response)
-Tonight: "Hi KP" (No response)
Wtf? Totes creepy! I keep glancing out my window to make sure he isn't watching me, ready to chop me up into itty bitty pieces.
Alas, I'm still searching for numba 4. I wonder if that guy from Pluto is still available.
Several things are amazing here.
ReplyDeletea) that video about pizza. good find.
b) a reminder that I still need to post a recap about that speed date bc I took some good notes (and even one guy said "wow, you take a lot of notes." I said "you have no idea."
c) ok you must get number 4 this weekend. sit yourself at every coffee shop, park and bar or museum until then.