Speed dating…

Been thinking about trying out speed dating? My diplomatic but also honest answer: try it. If nothing else, you GOTTA do it for the story.

The first time I did it (speed dating that is) I met a male hooker. I figured there was no where to go but up.

Because I’m exhausted and watching Chelsea lately, I will fill you in on the aftermath and save the actual Speed Date recap for manana.

We got there at 7:30. Started by 7:50 and were done before 9.

Note: There are no places to get food on Canal Street open at 9pm. Not even Burger King.

Consensus: Speed Dating is like shopping at Kohls. It seems like a decent idea but always kinda “eh.”

So after agreeing that everyone was lame but the event was entertaining, we went back to our apartments. Aka I was at the pizza place below my apartment.


KG: (in response to a group text btwn 4 of the 5 sixteen daters) KP, do you remember that guy rich, I think I have him as a maybe? What do you think.

KP: Yeah, I put him as a question mark too. He was a totally decent sweater at Kohls.





Lessons learned:

1. Despite the “decent, but not even that amazing deals,” it’s not time to shop at Kohls.
2. Don’t trust the guy at the pizza place on “his favorite” slice.
3. Pretending that you aren’t going to eat the entire slice before you get to the fifth floor isn’t fooling anyone.
4. Red wine does not cure heartburn.

Oh and detailed character recap coming soon. One dude said he was from Pluto.