Dear Hot To Trot,

Ok, ok. I guess the cat's outta the bag.

If I were 15 again, this would def go on the record as a traumarama moment. Except at 15 I would most likely slam my bedroom door, cry, and convince myself my life was over.

At 26, I'm proud to report that there were no tears, no slamming of bedroom doors (although I don't really have one), and no catastrophic thinking (well, maybe for like 5 seconds). I'd like to take this as evidence that I am really growing into a mature and sensible adult. Although I'm pretty sure mature and sensible adults don't refer to attractive men as "Hot To Trot", search and post pics of steamy piles of shit, and consider trashy day sex to be a viable date option. I'd like to think it was all for the blog.

So thank you, HTT, for supporting the blog, allowing it all to come full circle, and most importantly, helping us score a movie deal out of it. Although I can't promise you any cuts, I will make sure you are played by Jared Leto.

Yours Truly,
KP

P.S. Feel free to be our Wednesday guest blogger this week.

TMZ Breaking News: KT Celeb Date #5

Totes just ran into Joseph Gordon Levitt outside my office.

We got caught up in the traffic and he flashed me a look that said the following:

"I'd totally do you if you weren't insanely busy at work and I wasn't all with my friends and probs filming some movie. I'd hate to get all serious and fall in love when I have be back in LA to film our 30 Rock from the Sun reunion next month. But really, you're adorable."

That, my friends, was a five-minute conversation spoken only through adoring looks.

And that, SDers, counts as my Date #5.

JGL + KT = BF/GF 4eva

Didn't make the cut

Here is a compilation of messages received on okcu. Let’s just say these didn’t exactly encourage a response. Please feel free to add to the list, Sixteen Daters!

(We feel kind of guilty about this, but it's funny.)



To CFH:
You look like Jesus running across a snowy field. You know, If Jesus wore boots and was a girl and stuff...

To KP:
hi, young adult books. i went there too, but i listed some in my profile which ones have you read??? hope to hear form you -S
-and then-
2nd try. i sent you a message a while ago asking about young adult books you never got back to me which is fine, but who knows maybe you over looked it or something. so here i am saying hi again hope to hear from you

To KP:
Adventure. I know most people write things on their profile that they don't actually mean (unlike me) but if you truly want an adventure then you should try a tickling session. It's something you've never done before, a great workout, you'll laugh your head off through the entire experience (including snorting which you say you do when you laugh) and it will be the adventure of your life.
-63% Enemy 27% Friend 17%-
the next day. Via instant message.
*tickling your feet right now*

To CFH and KP. On the same day. Verbatim.
-Personal intro (extrapolating details from each of our profiles), then…-
I got back on Thursday night from a 10-day vacation to eastern Europe -- I managed to go out Friday night but I'm still a little jet-lagged -- looking forward to watching HBO tonight. What did you do this weekend?
Best,
A

To CFH:
It would be awesome if we could chat tonight. I just really want to explore my bi and submissive urges with a girl. Let me know if you're interested :)

To CFH:
Hey there how are you! You really caught my attn reading ypur profile and would really love to get to know you, chat wink email fax whatever works, maybe grab an ice cream cone or a cold drink and just enjoy your company.

To CFH:
hey I thought you were special .You seem like a fun and attractive girl. I just took a new job as an assistant golf pro. You seem like a girl that would enjoy a nice guy not one that's out to play games. I just want to make you laugh.

Date Recap: CFH Date #2

How we met:
M and I know each other through a mutual friend. We’ve met in the past but never really hung out one on one. We found each other on okcu (“research” on both our parts) and decided to get a drink.

About him:
M is a radio producer in his late 20s, lives in Clinton Hill. Handsome, charming, smart. He also always seems to be dating someone new.

Date:
Since M was sent the link to this blog by our friend (NOT by me, ladies!), I can’t say much. He promised not to read it, but if I were in his shoes I would probably read it anyway…so…I’ll just say that for some reason I was dreading it, but ended up having a really lovely time. I'm looking forward to round 2, which will hopefully involve tequila. (Because he’s a fan, not because I’m an alcoholic).

Now, for the funniest part of the evening:

Towards the end of the night, he admitted that he’d read our blog and had a confession. I’m blushing, of course, because boys aren’t supposed to read any of this shit. And, a confession?! That doesn’t sound good. Has he read my embarrassing posts and decided there’s no chance he’ll ever be seen with me again? Did he ask me out just to get my numbers up, because he noticed I was trailing on the leaderboard? (I was on vacation! And joined late!, I’m thinking.)

No. He was reading through the blog and realized that he is Midwest Man. Yes, that’s right – of KP Date #3 and possible booty call fame.

I mean, really?!?! Really. Just my luck. Does our rendez-vous even count as Date #2, given our no recycling policy? Comments, please.

Speed dating…

Been thinking about trying out speed dating? My diplomatic but also honest answer: try it. If nothing else, you GOTTA do it for the story.

The first time I did it (speed dating that is) I met a male hooker. I figured there was no where to go but up.

Because I’m exhausted and watching Chelsea lately, I will fill you in on the aftermath and save the actual Speed Date recap for manana.

We got there at 7:30. Started by 7:50 and were done before 9.

Note: There are no places to get food on Canal Street open at 9pm. Not even Burger King.

Consensus: Speed Dating is like shopping at Kohls. It seems like a decent idea but always kinda “eh.”

So after agreeing that everyone was lame but the event was entertaining, we went back to our apartments. Aka I was at the pizza place below my apartment.


KG: (in response to a group text btwn 4 of the 5 sixteen daters) KP, do you remember that guy rich, I think I have him as a maybe? What do you think.

KP: Yeah, I put him as a question mark too. He was a totally decent sweater at Kohls.





Lessons learned:

1. Despite the “decent, but not even that amazing deals,” it’s not time to shop at Kohls.
2. Don’t trust the guy at the pizza place on “his favorite” slice.
3. Pretending that you aren’t going to eat the entire slice before you get to the fifth floor isn’t fooling anyone.
4. Red wine does not cure heartburn.

Oh and detailed character recap coming soon. One dude said he was from Pluto.

Broke down Monday

Several things.

1. We decided to move Mr. Monday to Wednesdays. There is entirely too much weekend Tom Foolery to recap/recover from on a Manic Monday and getting Man-handled via the interwebs (and not the way we all really want/need to be manhandled...well, it wont help matters.)

So get ready for "Wednesday Wake-up call" because it's coming to a blog near you. Aka this one. On Weds.

2. Holy crap. CFH, welcome back to the game.

3. So now that CFH/KP don't need our polite offer, I guess I'm back on the hook for speed dating. Im wearing a half ponytail with twists. Speaking of babysitters club, I look like Dawn (the new-er school one, with Alex Mac)

Also, Im so slammed at work that havent eaten until now. I'm not wearing make up. I just chugged a large Dr. Pepper from Burger King.


And my shoe just broke. But like, forrealz. Oh yeah, and I dont think I can make it home before hand. Which means I'll be rocking 2 different shoes. And I'll be bringing my work laptop.

I am in no way, prepared for waht's about to come...

Update

A couple things:

1. I know I owe a recap of date #1. Coming soon. And, I may be on the repeats leaderboard this week as well.

2. Date #2 is a friend of a friend, and just happens to have been sent this blog's URL by our mutual friend. So...I will not be posting very much about said date. (Why does he know about the blog, you ask? B/c we found each other on okcu, which I explained by saying that I have a dating blog. When he asked our friend about this, she said, "Oh no, Christina doesn't have a blog!" And then I sent her the note a few days later about it, so she forwarded it along, etc. etc. Yes, it is (maybe more than just) mildly embarrassing. So if you're reading this, M -- Hey, I'll see you tonight.