things i learned on my first date:
1. you should always warn your date at least 24 hours in advance if there is even the slightest chance that we'll be meeting your parents. and your uncle. and your parents' six close friends.
2. if your dad is uncle frank from home alone 1 & 2, you probably shouldn't withhold that until i read it in the playbill. in fact, this is the little known fact that will give you the keys to my apt.
3. shakespeare is probably not the best activity for a first date. the moment i look at your hand and start thinking about if it's actually moving toward me and what do i do if you touch me and how i will tell you i'm not interested, i've already missed the first three scenes. thou hast been losteth.
4. you performed in the circus your mom directed throughout your childhood? ok, cute fun fact. you still juggle and tumble recreationally? probably a fact you want to save until date 10. just sayin.
5. when i opt out of a free meal and drink, you know something ain't right. when i duck and run in avoidance of the goodnight kiss, you know it's time to go.
6. lastly, probably shouldn't go on a date with someone you aren't attracted to, especially when he is friends with good friends, not to mention your boss. stay tuned to find out how this can possibly end well.
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