When asked to guest-star on this blog, I was a little nervous at first. I'm a numbers guy; words aren't my strong point. I'm REALLY good at writing "Attached, please find the latest version of the quantitative analysis. Please advise." Beyond that, my writing skills are about as smooth as KG in a lesbian softball coach outfit or a first date kiss with KT.
The direction of this post will be different than that of the first and second posts from fellow XYs to grace this blog. I'm actually going to offer up a couple pieces of advice on dating for women. Yes, I am that brazen/stupid. Yes, I have a few years of dating experience under my belt in NYC (more than a couple, less than countless). No, I never tried speed dating or online dating. Yes, I currently have a girlfriend. She is amazing.
Now that we got that long-winded-yet-important introduction out of the way, its time to make like Tracy Jordan and drop some truth bombs. It's what I do.
1. Be Direct & Honest.
Lying sucks. If you lie to get a date (or ON a date) and "pretend" to like something, you're doing yourself a disservice, and doing him a disservice. Think about it. You're misrepresenting yourself in a situation where you're supposed to be getting to know one another. Honesty is refreshing. Why hide anything? Do you still comb the hair on your collection of My Little Ponies? ROCK that. Do you love to scarf down a pound of prosciutto after a night of drinking? SCARF Away. Do you turn on every single light in your apartment when you get a glass of water at night because you're still scared of monsters? AWESOME. ME TOO. What's the worst that can happen? He likes you for you?
2. End It If You're Not Interested.
I've heard the "free dinner" argument, but I'm not buying it (no pun intended). For those economists out there, think Opportunity Cost. Leading someone on is more cruel than telling him you're not interested. It's 1,924,203.13 times better to be upfront and honest with someone. It's science............. +1 to the people who know who the guy is in that picture.
3. Stop Freaking Out.
If there's one differentiating (non-physical) trait between a girl and a guy, I would say it's thought process. Girls think waaay too much into waaay too many things from waaay too many angles. Guys are comparatively neanderthalic. A short list of things most girls worry about: location, conversation topics, humidity, cuisine, versatility of attire, hair, perception, wine pairing, updating friends, enough but not-too-much make-up, bathroom breaks, placement of the table in the restaurant, kissing, offering to pay, etc....... A complete list of things most guys worry about: button down or t-shirt, not sounding like an idiot. I guarantee that most things that may seem REALLY IMPORTANT are not really that important at all. He'll like you for you, regardless of whether or not your eye shadow is.... ahhhh who am I kidding I don't even know how to describe eye shadow.
4. He Is Out There.
It's true, despite what some naysayers say. Don't listen to what "can" and "can not" be. Don't settle for Wesley Snipes. You may have met him already, you may meet him 5 years from now. But he's out there. And he's the one.
Hopefully you found these male insights helpful. Look again, your dating life is now diamonds! I'm on a blog.
we need a regular dose of boy advice. thank you to the handsome man behind this rather optimistic view of the dating field.
ReplyDeletetotes agree on the overthinking section, and absolutely everything else, except the direct and honest piece. while i would hope this to be true, it just ain't. no boy wants to hear the truth. no boy wants to hear intimate things about you. they want a mystery, a challenge.
also, would totally go on a date with bill nye. :)
The direct and honest wasn't intended as a "blurt out every embarrassing thing you know about yourself on the first date" statement.... more of a piece of advice encouraging you to embrace what you are and to OWN it. The game/chase will always be the most alluring part to dating.
ReplyDeleteConfidence goes a long way when trying to 'land' a guy. Whether its confidence in how you look, or confidence in the fact that you have a profile on people.com AND a profile with picture on evite.com.
There's no such thing as embarrassment if you're confident :)
So apparently I should have acted surprised when Blind Date said he had already facebooked me. And then not "with-holded" (mister monday 3 says that still counts as "lying") the fact that I did too.
ReplyDelete